Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year... or is it?

Grief. It is a sneaky emotion that strikes often this time of year. There can be so many reasons to feel grief. The first holidays without a loved one, being away from family and friends, the loss of relationships once treasured, financial loss, the list goes on.

Grief is always present; what makes it harder this time of year is the expectation that we. "Have a cup of cheer," and "say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet. " We are expected to be social and happy while we do it.

So, what do we do with grief this time of year? We have obligations to meet, presents to buy, and parties to attend. There is no time for grieving.

which leads me to one of the first things you can do.

• Feel your grief. This time of year is SO busy, but give yourself time to feel the grief, space to cry, to remember, to mourn, to talk about the memories. Whatever your grief needs to feel like it has been felt.

• Do not hide from your loved ones. It's easy to want to make a great impression on the grandma who never seems to give her full approval or win over the mother-in-law you just met. Hiding your authentic feelings is not the way to go. It is okay for this time of year to be bittersweet. Spending time with others, especially people who make you feel safe, is a great help with feelings of sadness.

• Find the joy. One of the more confusing parts of emotions is that two emotions can be felt at the same time. You can grieve the loss of your grandpa, but celebrate another year spent with grandma. You can be sad that your friend isn't there this year, but you can laugh and enjoy the company of those who are. Grief needs to be felt and acknowledged, but it does not have to overshadow the joy. As often as you let yourself feel grief, let yourself feel joy.

I leave you with this hope that this year brings more joy than grief and new opportunities to smile even in the bleakest situations.